How to Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time

              How to Cope With Feelings of Love for the Wrong Person at the Wrong Time

 

Notice how you feel when you’re around him. No matter how sure you are that he’s the right one for you, if you have a nagging sense that something’s wrong, it might be. Not every love story is perfect, but the first step of a healthy relationship is honest evaluation.

 

Try to visualize the future with the person

If you’re having trouble seeing what a realistic future would look like together, you probably already know that it’s time to move on. If you can’t realistically see your lives together in 5 or 10 years, it might be because you’re in love with the wrong person.

 

Recognize the signs of rejection.

Sometimes the person you love doesn’t love you back, and it’s up to you to accept this. It will be easier to accept when you realize that his lack of love has more to do with him and his life than it does with you. Maybe he’s become involved with drinking or drugs, or has problems with depression, or is upset or otherwise self-absorbed. Maybe he’s realized that he’s not in love with you, and there’s a chance he’s even told you this.

 

Start to accept the situation

If you allow yourself to focus on revenge, you'll be dragging around the pain of this situation for years to come. Instead, accept that pain is an inevitable consequence of your current situation.

 

Remind yourself of your own value

If it helps, use daily affirmations, or post reminders in areas you're likely to see them. Just because you've been in love with the wrong person, or have been frustrated because it's the wrong time to develop a relationship, doesn't mean that you don't have value. Remember, your life is made up of a series of experiences and encounters, not just this one.

 

Quit feeling sorry for yourself

When you’re in love with the wrong person, it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. It’s a sad situation, and feelings of self-pity can provide a temporary solace. The first step is to decide that you’re going to implement a zero tolerance policy towards self-pity in your life.

 

Consider talking to a professional

A therapist, counselor, rabbi, minister or another professional will have had experience in helping people cope with unhappy experiences of love. It can be helpful to talk to someone who doesn’t have a personal investment in the situation, who can talk to you without being concerned about taking sides. Self-pity can be due to a long history of bad relationships, starting from childhood. You may need to work through these issues to start improving your relationships. You should not attempt to do this on your own. Seek help from a mental health professional who can guide you through this process.

 

Learn to love yourself

When you've been involved in an unhappy love situation, you might conclude that no one wants you. However, this is a result of rejection and/or being in a bad relationship. Instead, take this opportunity to remind yourself of your positive qualities.

 

Talk to someone you trust

There are lots of good reasons to share your feelings with another person. Talking about your frustration will help you see your relationship in a new way, which may offer solutions you hadn’t thought about before.

 

Start to build your self-esteem

Low self-esteem is an unrealistically negative evaluation of yourself. People with low self-esteem are more likely to find themselves in unhappy love situations. As you develop your ability to care about yourself, you’ll be less likely to feel sorry for yourself.

Get active

Moving your body is an excellent way to stop feeling sorry for yourself. When you force yourself to exercise and get your heart pumping, you’ll start to feel better about yourself. The endorphins that come from exercise will kick in, elevating your mood.

 

Accept responsibility for your choices

Even though it might not feel very good, making the decision to take responsibility for the decisions you’ve made will help you learn and grow. After all, to be responsible for your choices is the opposite of being a victim; a victim is a powerless role. To be in charge of your own life is powerful.

 

Protect yourself

Make sure you’re practicing discernment when you choose who to let into your life. If you notice friends who appear to take pleasure in your discomfort or misfortune, you might want to consider keeping them out of your life.